


False Colors

by red_rumble



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-12 23:48:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2129022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_rumble/pseuds/red_rumble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The usual, impassive gaze on the raven-haired boy's face made Makoto's lips quirk in a smile, and he hoped silently that things would never change.</p><p>He would prefer things to be differently, but he knew he could never be so selfish."</p>
            </blockquote>





	False Colors

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is the first fanfic I've ever written (as well as the first thing I've written in months), so I'd appreciate if you could critique me and give me some tips to improve!
> 
> I'm not exactly happy with this one, but I suppose I'll just consider this a warm-up.

Haruka was a familiar shelter, Makoto thought. He could never walk with him and feel uncomfortable, only ever catching a wave of calm and a feeling of home.

Like usual, their quiet walk together was soothing, Haruka's attention peeked towards the ocean and Makoto's towards Haruka. The usual, impassive gaze on the raven-haired boy's face made Makoto's lips quirk in a smile, and he hoped silently that things would never change.

He would prefer things to be differently, but he knew he could never be so selfish.

“It'll get warmer soon, Haru-chan,” Makoto assured, giving his friend a sincere grin and a gentle chuckle. Haruka only grunted, turning his face even further to the ocean. Makoto wasn't offended by the cold reaction – more endeared, if anything. The mysterious boy always had a strange way of alluring him.

The rest of the walk was silent as they readied themselves their first year of high school together, having left Nagisa behind. The blonde boy was a tornado full of energy and a great and significant part of their friendship, and Makoto would be lying if he said he wouldn't miss him. But, as much as he felt awful for thinking it, Nagisa's absence had already left a nice change – a comforting quiet that Makoto could never appreciate before. He would miss Nagisa, but would also relish greedily into the newly granted and more spacious access of Haruka.

For at least a year, he wouldn't mind spending his time with just him.

\---

Learning to play the role as the best friend took years for Makoto to perfect. He recited hourly and practiced daily before he molded himself into the grand companion he was known for. Loyal, kind, and motherly, Makoto stood proudly by the raven-haired athlete, seeming glad to have someone so soulful in his life. Not for a second were his feelings for Haruka false, but he felt like a fraud from where he was standing.

Haruka had no real idea how much he meant to Makoto. But Makoto was fine with letting him think that his passion for him was only friendly, as he didn't want to come out to him just to make the shorter boy uncomfortable. He played out his actions like he was expected to and interacted like he was meant to, and Haruka seemed convinced by his act, so he was happy with that.

Sometimes, though, Makoto wondered if he knew. Haruka, although rarely, would give him a look, as if to show his bewilderment whenever their eyes met and Makoto's reflexive grin shined too bright, or whenever Makoto's habitual stare on Haruka would last too long. But then his face would relax and he'd turn away, leaving the taller boy with a pounding, terror-filled heart.

For years, Makoto kept his deep feelings intact, making sure not to pluck the strings too hard in fear of driving Haruka away by his distasteful music. He decided to keep his friendly duties above everything else, especially when Rin appeared into their lives and took away any chance that Makoto had.

Rin deemed to be an important part of their lives, having the most affect on Haruka. The fierce kid left a permanent mark on the blue-eyed saint, squirming under his skin and staying there. Makoto could notice the change, because Haruka acted differently with Rin than he ever did with Makoto.

Rin was competitive, and Haruka, who was normally a calm and aloof swimmer, would instantly mimic him, catching the fire that Rin passed.

Makoto was surprised, but moreover jealous, that someone who knew Haruka at a lesser time could make him look much more alive. He realized then that Rin got there before he could, so any thoughts of confessing had eventually dissipated from Makoto's mind. Instead, he'd continue to be the best friend that Haruka thought of him as, ignoring his own feelings so Haruka could stay content in their friendship.

Even when Rin left for Australia, he didn't want to risk anything.

\---

It was the beginning of the second year of high school when Nagisa – who made out to be the same as ever – reappeared back into their lives. Makoto reveled in the happy reunion, his smile painfully widening when he noticed excitement in even Haruka's eyes. It wasn't often that Haruka leaked out emotion, and Makoto only wished he could witness more of it.

Nagisa suggested to visit the old swim club, as it was ready to be torn down and permanently wiped clean from its slate, and the group eventually made their way to the building after Harka was forcefully convinced to go.

They had entered the club, venturing deep down to their memories to linger in the feeling of nostalgia. Makoto caught a sense of melancholy, remembering this as the place where he and Haruka had their first connection, and he was happy to go back down the road of their childhood with him.

It felt right, Makoto thought, for the three of them to be in harmony together again. It was a natural feeling, and it left Makoto expecting this year of high school to be a great one.

It was shocking how such a positive thought could be killed so easily and so quickly by something so little.

“Haru,” Rin had said, the use of Haruka's name rippling through Makoto's skin, “you're still hanging out with these guys?” The vicious intent in his tone was instantly noticeable, and Makoto forced himself not to look offended. “You never learn.”

Rin's change in personality was appalling, and Makoto still wasn't sure if it was the same person he knew in elementary. But even with Rin's sheer aggressiveness, Haruka still became phased by the shark-toothed boy.

Just one glance at Haruka, and he noticed it. It was happening all over again, even if in a different way. Rin mentioned a race, and Haruka got the same glint in his eyes that he used to get all those years ago. Rin was engulfing him like before, and Haruka was barely fighting it.

After their encounter with Rin, Makoto could spot the changes in Haruka. He seemed more distant than usual, always too stuck in thought – always too busy thinking about Rin.

But Makoto would tough it out and send Haruka his best of smiles and support him as much as he could, not once giving in to his aching heart. Haruka's feelings mattered first, and Makoto made sure to remember that.

In the end, Rin was welcomed back into the group with opened arms. Even after everything he put Haruka through – even after he forced Haruka into an insane, emotional roller coaster – he was somehow able to reclaim his spot as their friend. Frankly, Makoto wasn't sure how to feel about that.

He would have never treated Haruka like that, or anyone, for that matter. He would have never been able to forgive himself for lashing at someone who didn't deserve it. Makoto treated everything with kind hands and caring eyes, and yet, the blue eyed boy still picked Rin over him. Makoto realized that he would have to be okay with that – or at least tolerate it, because no matter how much he wanted to, he could never change Haruka's mind.

So instead of speaking his thoughts, Makoto managed a smile. He patted Rin's back, looking like someone who was re-welcoming an old friend.

“It's nice to have you back, Rin,” Makoto had said, making sure his smile didn't falter as he felt Haruka's eyes watching him. “We all missed you.”

**Author's Note:**

> -shamelessly promotes my Tumblr-
> 
> http://the-makoharu-life.tumblr.com/


End file.
